Alaska

In all the hubbub of the last weeks we missed posting the pictures of Alaska.  It was such an awesome opportunity for the older three to have this adventure with Daddy!  Shannon and I both love the majesty of the 49th state and are so grateful for Michaela, Kath and Eric to experience it like we have.

They spent four days with friends fishing on the Prince William Sound, and although the weather wasn't sunny they still had a spectacular time.  Bill & Terry treated them like royalty.  Our kiddos returned home with so many books they have been bookworms ever since.

Michaela's perspective ~
It has been said that a picture is worth a thousand words, which is very true but there was something that cannot be captured in a picture.  It was cold, very different from our hot Montana weather we had left. More than the weather was the majesty of the ocean.  As I kayaked around in the coves with the mountains shooting straight up I felt slightly insignificant.  The seals would follow us around as we kayaked.  They would dip down and then pop back up.  The best part for me was when we had to make it across the ocean in rough seas.  They weren't terrible, but enough for a little bit of excitement.  We had to spot boats and then its buoy so that we would not cut their fish nets.  The boat would rock up and down, it would dive down and water would splash over the top.  We'd finally get to our destination of another cove with snow and seals...and calm seas.

Kath's thoughts ~  When we got on the boat the first thing we did was look around the boat and claim beds. I have to say that Michaela and I got the best bedroom. The first full day we went kayaking and Michaela and I tested the theory from Nemo wondering if the tops of the jellyfish sting (good thing they didn't). The second day we were there was the fourth of July.  We shot bottles with a 22. The third and most embarrassing day, Michaela and I went kayaking with Bill and Terry. We passed so many waterfalls that I wanted to taste some of the water.  That is when I learned that kelp is really slippery and fell in the water. Hey, we learn something new everyday right? That same day Bill, Michaela, Eric and I jumped off the top of the boat.  The life jacket I was wearing said, "They float. You don't."  When I jumped off and hit the water I went down really far, I began to wonder if the life jacket really did float!

Eric's story ~ to be continued.......

Getting ready to go through the tunnel to Whittier ~

The Mermaid Cave on the boat is the best place to sleep,

You're right at water level and tucked into a cozy corner of the boat.

I even sleep there it is so peaceful!

Two of thousands of waterfalls ~

The coldest spot in the world to take a shower,

but you're squeaky clean afterwards!

The first halibut ~

Shan finally broke the ice on halibut catching ~

Just a little guy, but he sure is tasty!

Then, Eric had his turn ~

It was slightly larger!

When the fishing is slow, 

cuddling up in the kitchen with a good book really can't be beat!

The best dinners in the whole wide world are straight out of the ocean!

Of course the company is the best part!

My favorite guy, fishin' in his pj's ~

A fresh pull of shrimp ~

MmmmMmm!

Breakfast of champions on the way back to port!

An Update

Mom took me to Great Falls yesterday to check up on what is happening with our little guy.  At this point his growth has slowed further, the blasted placenta is looking worse and there is very little amniotic fluid.

So, we are waiting.

Waiting on what God has in store for us.

I am a pessimist by nature and am not clinging to the hope of any miracle other than my heart be filled with peace.  This in and of itself has been miraculous!  Have there been tears?  Yes, torrents.  But, overwhelmingly I am at peace with however God wants to use this situation.

Again, I want to thank everyone for the little notes, thoughts sent our way, meals that appear, flower on my windowsill (my favorite color too!) prayers of consolation, introduction to a saint, the ice cream sandwiches I discovered in my freezer this morning, the purchase of a new-to-us car completely arranged by Dad, a listening ear while I work out all my thoughts, Mom spending the whole day taking me to a doctor appointment....and the list goes on.

Love,
Allison

The guy that was enjoying a quiet day at the lake fishing

soon found himself run over by children ~

Snorkeling just like Daddy ~

Annika loves being with the girls~

Nickles loves the girls too ~;o)

Ahh, cousins AND friends ~

Building a lake in Grandpa's sand ~

More cousin time ~

Tristen and Dom would have sat there throughout the night watching movies,

they aren't exactly sleepy heads ~

Yay! 

Can we play in the rain???

A Good Day ~

We have a busy week again.  I kinda want to keep it filled up to avoid thinking too much, dwelling on worst-case scenarios.  Today was busy, but in the meantime my heart was filled right up!  We are loved so much. From the little notes I received throughout the day, to our OB whisking me right in when I needed to see if our little guy was still alive, to Father Stu turning on a gut-busting comedy while visiting him just because he knew I needed a laugh, it was good to feel the support of family and friends.  

Dom wanted to take his cousin for a "birthday day" that he had planned.  I'm not entirely sure if Dom planned events he enjoyed or things he thought Tristen would enjoy.  If you have ever marched to the beat of a 5-year-old for a day you know there is not too much of anything serious goin' on.  We began by going to the carousel.

Then, we grabbed pizza and pop and blueberries (my way of trying to sneak something healthy into the day) and headed to a park.  After an hour or so swinging and climbing and sliding they thought they were done with that brand of fun.  

Not to end their day too soon, they decided The Big Dipper was the next destination to grab ice cream. After running up and down the walking mall, climbing under bushes, over rocks and sliding down the fire pole, home sounded like a good idea.

Sommer came to the rescue and took them home to play for a while before dinner.  They thought they were going to swim, but today wasn't really a swimming day.  It was a bit chilly, but not chilly enough to prevent after-dinner ice cream cones!

Thank you to everyone who has been rallying behind us.  We have certainly not been alone on this journey and it has been very palpable to me each day!
Thank you for walking beside us, being Simon, helping us carry our cross.
Love,
Allison

A Belated Happy Birthday to Shannon

You're so special, oh so special!

God gave you to us.

It's no wonder that we LOVE you so!

This year Shannon was in Alaska for his birthday.  Our friends, along with Michaela, Katherine and Eric took such good care of him I kinda thought the card I hid in his suitcase sufficed for his birthday.

But I was wrong.  

He called on one of his layovers on their return trip and asked if I would like him to pick up a Costco cake for his birthday.

Lovely.

I mean that from the bottom of my heart.  My 40-something husband still loves his birthday as much as any 10-year-old.  So, we quickly ran out and grabbed some presents and invited his brother for dinner.  

That's one thing I love about you, Shannon, you still have as much fun as our kiddos.  Be it dancing in the dining room, jumping off some crazy rocks into a pool of water, or exploring the woods, you are as excited as they are!  

I love ya!

New backpacks ~

Ensuring the candles are lit correctly ~

Another Day

I kinda feel bad this past week.  I have been living each day, trying to fill it up as much as I can to avoid thinking, simply living in the moment and enjoying it.
On the other hand maybe I should live every day that way!
We invited a couple boys out yesterday to play and there is nothing really more diverting than little boys. Annika loved being in the thick of it all day too.  Their lies stories and ideas made me laugh and that is what I need right now!  It reminds me of younger days, the not-a-care-in-the-world mindset that accompanies that time.   That's one of the many benefits of having several children...we can pretend we're kids a bit longer!

Climbing up, looking for a "hole"

This hole is deeper than it looks ~ 

Slide right in, Annika ~

Looking for fishies ~

Hey, Mom, I'm under a waterfall ~

Not quite as brave as his older brother who stood in it,

letting the ice cold water freeze him ~

I love you sister!

Redneck waterslide ~

Being Prolife

The last days have brought a torrent of information, emotions and tears.  How can a little guy (yep, a little boy) that looked so absolutely perfect five weeks ago change so drastically?  He still looks perfect to my uneducated eye, but obviously some things with the pregnancy have went wrong.  Our routine 20 week ultrasound indicated a few things were awry.  Our midwife called to tell us we needed to see a specialist....the next day. When things happen that quickly, I know things are not good.

Shannon and I went to Great Falls to be told that the same chain of events that occurred when we lost our previous baby at this stage was happening again.  We thought losing Clare was a fluke, but now the doctor is thinking there may be more to it, with circumstances repeating themselves.  Along with the baby's environment deteriorating, he has some significant birth defects that would certainly affect his and our lives if he does make it to term.

So this is where the rubber meets the pro-life road.

Our case is truly an argument that would be used to promote abortion.  Things aren't looking good for the babe to make it to term.  If he does, his life isn't going to be "quality" anyhow, so why not end it all, put the baby out of his misery and end the fear of the unknown for the mother.

Yes, the fear, the unknown, is overwhelming at moments.  But, this life was given to us, to me, to protect and cherish no matter what the outcome.

It is painful.  

But he is mine and is a gift.  Sometimes we are just unable to see the value in a gift received til much later. So we will wait and find out what God has in store for us...what value this gift of uncertainty, of pain, of loss, holds.

Meanwhile, the meaning of being pro-life has taken on an entirely deeper meaning.  I've always talked a good talk.  I mean, we have seven children.  What is not pro-life about that?

But there is more.

I am still nurturing this little one, no matter what the outcome is in the next two weeks or next two decades. I still need to give it my best effort, from eating well and taking vitamins to getting enough rest to praying for my little guy.

It is difficult to avoid looking glum.  But if I believe in the sanctity of every life and this child is a gift, maybe I shouldn't mope around too much.  Strangely, keeping myself busy and putting on a peaceful, if not happy, face, has made me feel interiorly at peace.  And, after all, if things go as bad as they are saying he will be in Heaven soon and what could possibly be better? 

Then, there has been the support of my family: Shannon, Mom and Dad, my sisters...and darn it, even my brothers.  I can't help but think of all the women that choose abortion, how abandoned they must feel in that moment.  What different choices they would make if only surrounded by a family that lifted them in prayer and loved them.

So we will continue on.  Who knows what tomorrow may bring.  As Shannon said at the beginning of this pregnancy, "We will be a beacon."

I just didn't realize what that would entail.

 On the brighter side, Dom and Annika went flying with

Grams and Gramps and Uncle Ben this weekend.

The flight was good, but the breakfast was better!

We picked the girls up from camp ~

They had the best time ever!

Then there was the Symphony Under the Stars.

I was soon abandoned by my boys,

except for the popcorn-loving one, Dom.

There must be more to it than this ~

Joined by one of the kids' favorite big guys, Colton ~

Big brothers and little brothers ~

We all agreed this year, 

the best part was the last part ~

Fireworks!