Letting Go and Letting God

As many know, I am a person who likes to be in charge.  This situation with Max has truly humbled me.  I am certainly not in charge, unable to even prevent people from praying for us!  Obviously, this is not something I should want to prevent, but I'm not especially excited about having to be prayed for.  And I don't want to be "one of those people."  You know, the ones where it seems like bad things have happened to them recently.  This is definitely a pride issue.  I guess I simply don't want to need prayer.  The last few months have shown me how very much that I do need prayer and in letting go, my heart is at peace.

In August we decided to discontinue seeing the specialist every two weeks because it was too difficult to hear the same information with no hope infused whatsoever.  Shannon and I both decided to consciously let go of the situation and enjoy the pregnancy, letting the chips fall where they may, but knowing (because that's what we had been told) that we wouldn't have a baby in the end.

After our appointment where we heard all the good news regarding many of the defects no longer being present I was in a bit of a state of dismay, not quite able to wrap my head around all the information.  Later, I was at our neighbor's house watching the girls ride horses when our friend, Annie, made a statement that I have been contemplating a lot.  She touched my stomach and said, "Just look, Allison.  Look what happens when you let go and let God.  You decided to simply enjoy your baby for what he was and look what has happened."

And that touched my soul.

Now, I need to remember that daily.  "Allison, let go and let God."  It is so simple, yet so profound.  It is not something I am good at, yet know that I am called to practice.  To let go of what I want to control and let God make all things perfect as He sees fit.