The days prior to Max's delivery I was overly anxious about the spinal block. When I am in the middle of labor I could care less what someone has to do to take the pain away, but having to receive a shot in the back when I am not in pain scared the dickens out of me. As luck would have it, the anesthetist that was to be present for the c-section was an old highschool classmate of Shannon's. He ensured that I wasn't nervous as he was administering the anesthetic and even made certain this terribly modest mama was covered up despite making his job more difficult.
Of course all the nurses were wonderful, but one truly left a mark on my heart. Kim took care of us Sunday during the day and besides helping me through some difficult post-op moments, we had some terrific conversations, mostly just about family matters. Later in the evening, while Shannon was running errands, she stopped by our room. She had went to Mass following work and we had been in her thoughts. Other than Max being in the NICU, she had no idea what we had been through, she simply felt as though she needed to bring a bottle of holy water, a Rosary blessed by Pope Benedict and a certain holy card up to us, which unbeknownst to her had the prayer I have turned to each time I was feeling overwhelmed the past months. I was absolutely touched. After making me promise to use the Rosary, she left. Imagine Shannon's surprise when he returned to find me in tears! I immediately sent Shan down to bless Max's bed and Max as well.
We happened to run into Kim a couple days later in the elevator. I was able to give her the quick version of Max's little life and pulled the holy water from my pocket where I've been keeping it to bless Max's lips each morning before he begins eating. (So much for a medically sterile environment!) Kim showed me how acting on nudges from the Holy Spirit can leave the handprint of God on another person.
At the risk of making Sacramentals appear to be superstitious talismans, the regular blessings must have kicked in because he began eating last night like he was born for the job. His feeding tube was removed today and he began nursing versus using the bottle at his last feeding. Yesterday I was fairly certain he was never going to get it. I even spent a care time curled up in our motel room crying, thinking his brain was simply not going to allow him to function correctly....pretty faith-filled mom after all we have witnessed the last months! It's embarrassing, really. But onward and upward. It is a strong possibility that we head home tomorrow or Sunday.
Completely tuckered out after his last feeding ~